Gillette sensor excel and thanksgiving '07

Remind me why I'd stopped using this: for one, it sucks, big time. Really, it doesn't shave well, you always have to shave a second time (who's got time to shave a second time in the morning, your time is better spent watching VH1 Jumpstart or something), it's probably lasted two or three shaves for me at most and it burns like hell. So why was I using this abomination when you have razors with 5 or 6 blades now (what is it, the fusion)? The thanksgiving weekend saw me at a friend's place and I had forgotten my razor (I use a trusty disposable BIC now). So I borrowed his (with a new cartridge of course), which turned out to be a sensor excel. I was reintroduced to shaving hell.
Well about the trip, that's another story. White knuckle driving, 700 miles in freezing rain and snow, reached my friends place at 2 AM on thanksgiving day. Driving on the highway, in the night with snow and freezing rain is so surreal and eerie, almost like a video game, a lone spacecraft swishing through the milky way. Saw a lot of cars that had slid off the highway. I don't know why people drive like idiots in inclement weather. The drive back was not that bad, since most of it was done in the day and there was no snow. So 1400 miles back and forth, not bad, but my back hurt like hell. I don't know if it is the seating in the PT Cruiser that was uncomfortable or if it was me. Anyhow, I don't think I will be renting a PT Cruiser again.

The 2008 Subaru Impreza

...is so fugly. I mean it has always been ugly. But, in a 'I want it' sort of way, not in a 'I don't want to be seen in near it' kind of sense. I think the nose and the grille sort of spoil it. Subaru what's up, I know I want your AWD goodness (actually what I really want is the WRX, but can't plonk another 8 Gs) at an affordable price. But you don't really need to make it fugly to make it affordable. Heck even a Kia looks better.

The well dressed desi male...

I have noticed from my daily transit ride, is a very rare species. I know this is going to make me sound all queer (I like my women thank you and I don't think there is anything wrong with being queer, frankly I don't have an opinion and I give a damn whom you bed). It's just that I see far too many desi men dressed badly and with a skewed grooming sense. I must say I commend the desi women on this front, but then, that's always been their thing. So I have taken it upon myself to guide my desi brethren, this is going to be more in a peeve style:

1. Ok this will be long, if you are follically challenged in the head region, like me: there are certain dos and don't s. I think someone came up with this bright idea that a goatee (or frenchie?) will move the attention away from the head. Actually it makes you look balder, law of contrasts you see. So lose that 'cool' patch of hair around the lip and chin region. Besides they are not the 'in' thing now. Also don't try to cover your baldness with long hair in certain areas (think Donald Trump), again the law of contrasts, this makes you look pathetic. A close cropped haircut works best. Also if you are overweight, it shows in your face first and if you have lesser hair it becomes more evident. So it would be helpful if you lost those extra pounds, besides, you have to give some incentive. Also please get a haircut when you are due (the bushy look over the ears is so not cool), I know it gives you a fit every time you compare what you pay here (plus tip) with the pittance that you pay in India, but who said looking good is cheap.
2. Dress wear (or what you call formal wear): what's with all those ill-fitting, drab colors and polyesters and nylons. Also you needn't sport those labels (Allen Solly, Louis Phillippe, Arrow), nobody gives a damn, in fact they haven't even heard of those brands here, except for Arrow, which is a mainstream brand in US anyway. Choose clothes with structure, well fitted shirts and pants, more modern colors and stripes. If you must wear pin stripe pants, never pair it with a busy (striped, checkered) shirt, wear a plain shirt. Also the shoes, should be sleek, lose the army boot and square toed look. Jackets, suits and ties are just hilarious. They are a separate topic altogether, go read one of them men's magazines. I don't do a lot of dress wear anyway, I work in one of those places where you can walk in wearing shorts.
   
3. Sneakers, white, usually reebok or nike paired with jeans and a multi colored polo t-shirt. This is desi-uber-casual. Please, lose the white sneakers, they were cool in college, but not now. They look good only with workout gear. I know you spent a huge amount on that cool brand, but use them for their real purpose.
4. Jeans: usually a wrangler, lee (with the clover leaf pockets) or levis usually tapered leg or the 'Killer' brand crotch hugging and sort of bell legs. Please lose them or use them when doing any house projects, I know they last a long time, I am stuck with a few of those that I have donated to goodwill. It's not a sin to decommission jeans when they are out of style. Don't even think of cut offs. Look around, you needn't go all pricey (7 for mankind?), buy a decent fit (like a bootcut) with a good wash, experiment with dark rinsed ones. Also you needn't always wear polos and sneakers with jeans. A neat pair of jeans, coupled with a dress shirt and dress shoes look really good.
5. Leather jackets/coats: Usually black, an essential gear of the FOB. I know you got them for a fraction of the price in India and your project manager asked you to get one. But please, the thing with leather jackets is that they only look good if they fit well and don't go all the way to your knees. Also why the hood, who puts a hood on a leather jacket anyway, besides these leather jackets do not protect you well in winter. Oversized winter jackets are another peeve of mine.
   
6. Shorts: Denim shorts are not so cool anymore, yes they do last a long time but no and cut offs are a strict no no. Usually a plain cotton- khaki, beige, gray, olive or brown works best. Pleated or not is your preference. I prefer cargo shorts with a rumpled look. Also, you don't always have to wear the Bata leather sandals(quovadis?) or white sneakers with them and atleast not the tube socks, ankle length or quarter length are better and white please. Try loafers (without the socks) or floaters. Also please make sure you have the legs for it, usually we desi men sport very hairy, bamboo stick like legs and I don't think we've heard of an invention called moisturiser. One more thing, while we are talking about socks: the white hanes socks with the dress shoes, not so cool. Invest in some good quality, dark, dress socks, usually cotton or cotton blend (or go overboard, I believe they have socks made from bamboo fiber these days). Not those nylon or polyester ones with garish designs, they make your feet smell bad too.
7. Body odor: This seems to be my bane in the transit bus, please, please wash that shirt and banian. This goes for some of the desi ladies too. Yes it's cold here but that does not mean that you will wait till your next trip to India. Don't even get me started on the smell of oil and food. Spraying your self with that deodorant or 'scent' only makes it worse. Also change the socks and try to alternate the pair of shoes, don't wear the same pair for a week, especially if you have smelly feet like me.
8. Also please get in shape, mostly the married men. You don't have to get all ripped, start with some realistic goals. Just because you are married, does not mean you can get all out of shape and dress shabbily. Believe me it will make you feel so much better when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, it boosts your confidence and gives you a sense of achievement. It will make you desirable to your mate and open up this whole new range of possibilities in your wardrobe. Besides, why should only the ladies get all the attention?
   

Go ahead, judge me now, tell me I am shallow. That's what I get for doing a favor.